I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
