Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
