I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
