You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
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I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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