I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
