about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
