Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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