i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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