First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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