I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize