What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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