jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
