big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
