He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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