im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
