Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
