remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
