i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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