i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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