omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
