So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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