do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
