We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
