I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"