So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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