I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
