Non-Jews are for practice
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
