the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
