he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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