yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
