Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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