you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
porn star boner night. come get it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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