evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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