watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.