I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...