I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
