So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
