i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
