We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
