so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
