Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
