This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
