i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
