There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
