I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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