i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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