I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
