You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
