Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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