hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
