She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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