Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
