Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Can you return condoms to CVS?

(516): View more from New York

Only if you return your pride as well.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

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(817): View more from Texas

One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

apparently i was cut off before i even walked in

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...

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(425): View more from Washington

Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.

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