Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (689) Bad night (4668)
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  (530): View more from California

  I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.

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  (530): I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store. http://tfl.nu/ogm6
  Replies (18) Good night (1372) Bad night (4148)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.

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  (618): I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments. http://tfl.nu/a8pg
  Replies (8) Good night (6143) Bad night (1272)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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  (516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds
  Replies (15) Good night (834) Bad night (5407)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.

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  (712): I just negotiated a blow job for an interview. http://tfl.nu/ow0d
  Replies (15) Good night (3879) Bad night (1408)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.

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  (502): Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway. http://tfl.nu/fbtk
  Replies (14) Good night (3667) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.

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  (641): What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore. http://tfl.nu/icvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1230) Bad night (960)
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  (858): View more from California

  I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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  (858): I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again? http://tfl.nu/4q23
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (655)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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  (918): I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over. (336): Did it work? (918): Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door. http://tfl.nu/swzf
  Replies (8) Good night (3173) Bad night (687)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.

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  (401): I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car. http://tfl.nu/oyb7
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.

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  (214): I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/xu3y
  Replies (2) Good night (1280) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.

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  (623): Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight. http://tfl.nu/ppb9
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?

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  (304): We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is? http://tfl.nu/tyju
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

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  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1294) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator

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  (415): Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator http://tfl.nu/2d96
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (307)

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