Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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