Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.