Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

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  (828): just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vfy9
  Replies (26) Good night (12095) Bad night (684)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.

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  (702): I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet. http://tfl.nu/4zwd
  Replies (36) Good night (3362) Bad night (1029)
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  (562): View more from California

  Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

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  (562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty. http://tfl.nu/kgia
  Replies (34) Good night (11743) Bad night (1386)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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  (252): im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note http://tfl.nu/eb9t
  Replies (21) Good night (5742) Bad night (536)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (576) Bad night (9550)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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  (703): fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it. http://tfl.nu/7sbn
  Replies (11) Good night (4474) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  yes... and buy you lunch

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  (216): wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer? (330): yes... and buy you lunch http://tfl.nu/rnfb
  Replies (24) Good night (7965) Bad night (648)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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  (973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (1467) Bad night (4462)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3867) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve

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  (386): I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve http://tfl.nu/p2o3
  Replies (9) Good night (2695) Bad night (758)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.

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  (804): You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday. http://tfl.nu/ureb
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.

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  (765): He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified. http://tfl.nu/qdiz
  Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?

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  (310): Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public? http://tfl.nu/31zf
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD

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  (360): Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD http://tfl.nu/j288
  Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (210)

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