Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants. http://tfl.nu/uvta
  Replies (40) Good night (3205) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's just like the Real World with babies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): It's just like the Real World with babies http://tfl.nu/2wbr
  Replies (10) Good night (622) Bad night (3262)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l
  Replies (33) Good night (1296) Bad night (5234)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5387) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it http://tfl.nu/jk9d
  Replies (18) Good night (9702) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi
  Replies (19) Good night (5181) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/psr6
  Replies (4) Good night (2282) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple. http://tfl.nu/3342
  Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2713) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc
  Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could

  (1306): View more from

  well, that escalated quicky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could (1306): well, that escalated quicky http://tfl.nu/lv5m
  Replies (5) Good night (1232) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/pw43
  Replies (4) Good night (817) Bad night (195)

Randomize