Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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