Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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