just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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