i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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