Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
