from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
